Christmas season and I’m joyful. I’m joyful because I choose to be. My happy Christmas state of mind is a conscious decision, achieved through the practice of mindfulness and non-attachment. For me non-attachment to outcomes, coupled with no expectations is a path to joy.
My holidays were sometimes fraught with anxiety, high expectations, exhaustion and disappointment … because I wanted everything (and everyone) to be perfect… not Isabel’s perfick… but Perfect – Perfect.
My mom died when I was 32, so as the eldest child (of six) I assumed the mantle of creating happy moments, traditions and memories – not just for my family, but for my siblings and their families too. I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted every Christmas to be magical. Chronically late family members, no shows at the last minute, rule violations of the Secret Santa game, perceived slights and other petty annoyances threatened my peace of mind and stole my joy.
Then I found yoga. I began practicing yoga in 2011 as a way to diversify my exercise routine – kick boxing in the morning- yoga at night. Yoga is a practice steeped in mindfulness, with an overarching thesis of non-attachment. Over these ten plus years of yoga practice, I’ve internalized and wholeheartedly accepted this thesis. It is freeing to be able to detach myself from external factors…especially during the holidays. I’m free to enjoy every moment with no expectations. I try my best to create a happy festive atmosphere for my loved ones and I hope they all have a wonderful time, but my happiness is tied to my efforts, not their actions. And therein lies the joy. Acceptance, love and no expectations win the day.
Since we’ve returned to New York, there’s been a lot of joy. With just one week to go until Christmas Eve, we’ve crammed in a bunch of seasonal happiness already. Here’s what we’ve been up to…
After recovering from the trip north, we took the Lovebugs Christmas shopping and enjoyed delicious tapas and yummy desserts at La Buena Vida in Moriches. Niall and Samantha are wonderful hosts and made a great fuss over the girls.
Nothing and I mean nothing, makes me happier than to be with these three.
Favorites included empanadas, grilled octopus,lamb chops, bacon wrapped dates and chicken.
Claire choose the chocolate mousse, Isabel the cheesecake and Timmy stole a bite or two from each.
A few days later, found us choosing a Christmas tree for our family room. We bought the tree at a small roadside family run garden/plant center in our community. We were unable to coordinate with Grace and Charlotte a time that worked for them…so for the first time ever…the little bugs had final say about the tree choice. That went a long way to easing their disappointment in not sharing this tradition with the cousins.
Nicely done ♥️
Claire’s holding the angel made by her dad 45 years ago.
There’s always a discussion about who has the honor of placing Dad’s creation atop the tree.
Very important decisions to be made regarding the proper apportionment of the candy and to which dish.
Can’t have a visit to Grandma’s without the requisite fashion show.
The preparation takes longer than the fashion show itself.
Please note that Isabel is holding onto the red purse for dear life…Claire was first to choose the red dress…so…all’s fair in war and fashion.
So we were out and about and I said “Hey Timmy, how about a pic with those guys?” Oh and please note the grey and gloomy skies…although it hasn’t been bone chilling cold…nothing enticing about December weather in New York. Nothing.
We’ve spent a few evenings driving around viewing Christmas lights – with the bugs and by our selves – I have hundreds of photos…hopefully I’ll have time to create a separate blog post. Anyway here’s one of my favorites…we pass by on our way to and from the Lovebugs’ home and it was one of the first homes decorated in early December.
Here we are on the Long Island Railroad on our way into NYC for our annual pilgrimage. We missed going last Christmas and I’m happy that we went this year. We struggled with our decision- weighed the risks for us and then headed in for a modified version of our expedition to experience the holidays in NYC. We didn’t visit my favorite stores, no taking in the hustle (emphasis on hustle) and bustle of Times Square, no Broadway show.. but we had a wonderful time and definitely received our Big Apple holiday fix.
Exponentially less crowded than in any previous year.
We arrived before sunset … it really was magical…I’m sorry that my phone couldn’t capture the beautiful way the sun reflected off the buildings…here’s my best effort.
We made dinner reservations for 4:30 pm at Limani …correctly thinking that there’d be fewer patrons at that time. Upon arrival the host asked for our vaccine cards and carefully matched them to our IDs. We were duly impressed and noted that’s it’s most likely safer to dine in NYC than on Long Island where you don’t know the vax status of the other diners.
We began with a shared classic Greek salad. Fresh and delicious. Timmy ordered a Mediterranean Mule, I had a Pomegranate Martini.
This is Kolokithi… Thin slices of zucchini and eggplant with fried kefalograviera cheese and tzatziki. We’d had the fried cheese in 2019 in Athens and loved it, it paired perfectly with the vegetables.
Timmy totally surprised me when he ordered lobster with linguine.
My Canadian halibut was perfectly grilled and paired nicely with the 2019 Giesen Estate, Marlborough, NZ.
No issues with social distancing at all.
Karidopita…walnut sponge cake with cinnamon, cloves and honey. The lavender ice cream was beyond creamy… trying not to think about the butterfat content.
We asked an adorable young couple to take our photo. Then I returned the favor, taking multiple photos. I wish I’d taken a pic of them – their happiness reminded us how precious young love is.
So this photo popped up in my Facebook feed…exactly 5 years ago-12/16/16. I was wearing the same puffy jacket…but thank goodness I didn’t need the scarf this year – temperatures were in the upper fifties.
We walked over to Saks to soak in their beautiful light and music display. Timmy captured a great video. Let him know if you’d like to see it…he’ll send it to you.
Sadly the very day after I took this photo, all shows at Radio City were cancelled for the rest of the season due to a covid outbreak among the Rockettes. I feel so sad for the performers and audiences. Actually I’m really sad for all of us and I wonder when we can put this pandemic behind us. I realize there will be no returning to “normal”…whatever that was anyway…but at this point in our lives – I really do see time slipping away. I’m determined not to get caught up in “if onlys” – I’m trying my best to stay in this moment (thanks yoga) and be joyful that we have this time together.
So yes, this happened as we walked back to the subway. Only in New York. Seriously.
Back home after a terrific visit to the Big Apple … the cats let Timmy know how much they missed him😻😻
When in New York, we enjoy fetching Isabel from school and meeting up with Claire back at their house. Recently we’ve been playing board games…Clue was fun – Isabel and Tim competed as a team, I made a rookie mistake guessing the wrong culprit, thus eliminating myself and Claire won.
Yesterday we played Trouble. Oh my goodness. Never again. Here are a few pics of Isabel losing.
The child was miserable. Like abjectly miserable. She couldn’t believe that Grandma sent her back to the beginning twice. The betrayal was real and stinging.
She’s competing with Timmy for third place and smiling now because Mommy came home and saved the afternoon with a loving pep talk about never giving up.
So on Monday we definitely won’t be playing Trouble. Hopefully it will be warm enough to shoot some baskets in the driveway, if not maybe a few hands of “Go Fish” or “War”. But decidedly no Trouble.
I’ll leave off with one last photo of the Saks light display. Thanks for following along. We wish you a happy joyful holiday season…free of expectations and full of love.
